Yesterday I’m driving with my newly anointed 12 year old. It’s been a whirlwind of 12 years of a kid who has no concept of ‘can’t’ and ‘no’….for her, everything is possible. She’s set her sites on the NFL, and I’ll be damned if I’m the one who sets limits on her dreams.
But I think that changes over time, that endless sense of possibility. Wisdom, maturity, experience, etc teach us where many boundaries exist. Caution sets in when limits and failure get applied. She’s experimented with so many things with zero concept of what will or won’t work, in a crash course of discovery. Discovering limits and failures as much as successes and achievements.
She told me recently that she wanted to try out for a role with the Drama Club. She wants to be on stage. I smile and she looks at me suspiciously and asks me why I’m smiling, I realize she thinks I’m questioning her ability to perform. Nope. That’s not it at all. I explain to her that I’m amused by my very active football player, club lacrosse player, Robotics club, Coding Club, Hip Hop Dancing, Chorus singing, very BUSY and very INVOLVED daughter who now wants to add DRAMA to the mix.
I’m thoroughly impressed by her sheer variety of interests, her desire to be actively involved in so many things, and her willingness to put herself out there in more ways than many can imagine. She’s bold, fearless, and exploring new boundaries constantly.
So on this drive that I mentioned back in paragraph one she says “I’ll probably only try out to be a stage hand.”
Wait, what????
I bring out my big guns on this, and say “OH NO YOU DON”T!!!!!” I would describe my tone as caringly pissed, if such a thing exists.
“Don’t what?” She asks, suddenly looking worried because I reacted so vehemently.
“DON’T YOU GO COUNTING YOURSELF OUT!!!”
Then, of course, she gets a mom-speech. I’ve given sooooooo many mom-speeches, you have no idea. It ranges from how to behave during an interview to how to properly wipe the butt. This one might be one of my favorites, even if it is hard to beat the merits of a whole speech on butt wiping.
I told her I KNOW she wants to be on stage. I KNOW her heart is up there wanting to perform. She admits it’s true, but says the tryouts require singing and she thinks she isn’t a good enough singer. I told her none of that matters. What’s the worst thing that happens? She isn’t selected for a role? I told her to go and give it her damn best. If she fails, stand back up, adjust, but do NOT count yourself out before you’ve EVEN tried it.
Besides, middle school and high school dramas may be musical, but just ask Denzel Washington, not all actors need to sing to be fucking amazing….and not all actors broke into being fucking amazing on their first, or 50th try. That’s when she asked me who Denzel was and I realized I had some work to do. I think I’ll start with Glory, that put him on the map, and goddamn he was….everything….in that movie. I FELT his pain. I FELT his anger. I FELT his hope.
My child makes me feel so many things, her well runs deep and her heart is on display…. why not on purpose, why not drama? Go for it child, do your thing. Don’t put boundaries on yourself that only exist in your mind. Life will set boundaries, it will hold you back on the things that weren’t meant for you. But in that journey you will find your way to what you ARE meant for, and maybe it’s not so far from what you dreamed. Maybe it’s an even better dream. Maybe it’s something you could never have even imagined – or didn’t even exist – until you discovered it.
It might be tough with your NFL football career as the first ever female in the league to also be an A-list actor, and yes there may be limits, but hit them, set them back, make your mark on this world, you were meant to.
But no matter what you do, count yourself IN.
The Thought Catapult 